17 9 / 2014

"What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?"

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)

WHAT ABOUT MENOPAUSE THOWOULD YOU JUST THANK HIM FOR HIS SERVICE AND SEND HIM ON HIS WAYTO FIND A NEW NOT-PREGNANT GIRLOR DOES HE DIE WHAT HAPPENS

(via herestothedesperatedasher)

Can we please have a story about this?

(via kageyawa)

This would be so sad.  I mean he’ll have been with you for years and then he’s got to go.  What if you married him at some point, and you both were just waiting until menopause to be together?

(via kehp)

(via mintmiku)

17 9 / 2014

17 9 / 2014

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

(Source: star-loser, via laughbitches)

17 9 / 2014

blue-eyed-hanji:

helenedaviauhunt:

made-segragated:

best scene of any anime ever

Yes.

 you’re lying if you say you didn’t laugh at this

(Source: kaminaang, via therosevest)

17 9 / 2014

Now someone finish this as a horror story, quick!

(Source: jasonviola, via whtev-r)

17 9 / 2014

omgthatdressxx:

How to Pack Luggage?

(via roalhetalia)

17 9 / 2014

bonsoirgrenouille:

cash or credit, fuckboy

bonsoirgrenouille:

cash or credit, fuckboy

(via microcroft)

17 9 / 2014

whackcalzone:

MY CAT DOESN’T FEEL WELL SO MY DAD IS SINGING TO HIM

whackcalzone:

MY CAT DOESN’T FEEL WELL SO MY DAD IS SINGING TO HIM

(Source: nofuturept3, via darnni)

17 9 / 2014

gaytiers:

when people walk really slowly in front of me and then stop in the middle of the hallway to talk to somebody

image

(via barackobamo)

17 9 / 2014

dynastylnoire:

qalbee:

qalbee:

Salaam y’all! Please consider donating to this kickstarter that will fund a film on sexual assault in the Muslim community at large. Often survivors of sexual assault in the Muslim community are not given spaces to speak about their experiences and also may have limited resources for seeking help depending on their situation. As a survivor of sexual assault who was assaulted not only as a Muslim woman, but having one perpetrator who was a Muslim man, I feel that this project is extremely important for Muslim survivors of sexual violence. Jazak’Allah khair.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE signal boost this, even if you can’t donate!

boooooooooooooooooooooost

(via tylerhoekley)